I'll Remember You The Same (A Kiddway One Shot)
by WithTheWind
Summary: Edward can't live his life once she's gone. Those eyes haunt him, Those lips follow him wherever he goes. Even in dreams...
Edward dropped his third bottle of rum that night onto the tavern floor, the glass shattering into a million fractured pieces. As he stared into the reflective surface of the broken shards, he saw her face. But this was nothing new. He saw her face everywhere, even when his eyes were closed. She was a ghost he just couldn't escape.

Edward was certain in that moment, that he would have given anything for just one moment, a single second of peace. A tiny instant in which he could be free from her haunting eyes. Those beautiful, brown eyes that followed him everywhere.

He had so many fond memories of her, so many precious times they shared. The Old Avery where they could sit for hours, laughing like lifelong mates. Despite the fact that they'd only known eachother for a few years, she was his best friend.

Great Inagua, where they had built their pirate republic up from ashes, now a town full of drunkards and whores.

She would be ashamed of this place. She would be ashamed of him.

The thought of her usual, smartass smile contorting into a frown still sent shame through his body, like little knives that could cut right through even his best days.

No, there were no "best days" without her.

His life was empty, lonely, colorless.

Anne did her best to fill the void, but they both knew she was fighting a losing battle, he was a lost cause. One that was best left alone in his misery.

Most of the time even alcohol could not console him, but he would do anything to numb the pain. If only a little bit, if only for a little while.

Losing her seemed like life's finale betrayal, bestowed onto him like the plague. It was God's way of saying, "It's over."

And who was he to disagree? He didn't deserve her, and he didn't deserve mercy.

...But why? Why now? Why her? If this was the world punishing him for his sins, it was a sick punishment!

Mary was good, and loyal, and kind. A pirate, yes. A thief, yes. An assassin, yes. But a good person all the same. And for her to take the fall for Edward's wrongdoings… he couldn't live with that.

Even in death she was still cleaning up his messes, just like she always did.

And still… he couldn't help but feel angry at her.

Why did she have to go and attack those ships? Why did she always have to be so reckless? And why did she let him fall in love with her?!

Edward was no idiot, he knew that they were doomed from the start. He was bound to greed, the pursuit of wealth and a delusion that time had stopped back in England, that he still had a life waiting for him there. And she was bound to her cause, to her creed, and to the pain of her past. They could never have one another, no matter how they yearned.

Well, at least Edward yearned. He would never get the chance to confess these feelings to her, though he suspected she already knew. He would never know for certain if she felt these same feelings for him.

It was a special brand of pain, the kind that never faltered nor relented. The kind that would always burn inside of him, like a fire. No matter where life took him, no matter how much time passed, the pain could always be felt. And it strangled him more and more each and every day.

With a sigh, he managed to climb stiffly to his feet and make his way back onto The Jackdaw, alcohol stealing away any possible grace from his step. Adewale eyed him disapprovingly as he drunkenly entered his cabin, instantly falling into bed. This had become a sort of routine for Edward ever since her death. Life became a haze of rum, whores and uneasy sleep, if you could even call it that.

Still, his eyes began getting heavy, to the point where he could no longer battle against them. And with a sigh of defeat, Edward's consciousness drifted…

He floated through the deep, heavy mist, fighting to emerge from this dream like haze. He had to find air, he couldn't breath.

And then, he saw her, his oxygen.

Her tan arms wrapped around him lovingly, pulling him out of the mist and into the sun.

They were on the beach, the one where they had first kissed. Just a drunken, forgotten kiss that had stolen away all of his love for Caroline and bestowed it upon her. She was his everything from that day forward, whether he admitted it or not.

"Mary." He whispered softly, a tear running down his cheek.

"Shhh." She hushed him, reaching down and kissing away his tears.

"Stop crying Kenway, it ain't a good look for you."

Edward buried his face into her neck, just feeling the warmth of her skin upon his.

"M- Mary. How are you…. I mean, you're-"

"Well someone had to talk some sense into that thick head of yours now didn't they? Couldn't have you drinking up all the rum in the West Indies."

Edward's heart fell.

"This is a dream."

"Aye."

He sighed, "I should've figured. When something's too good to be true, it usually isn't."

Mary smiled weakly.

"When did you start sounding so wise?"

But he didn't answer. He couldn't will himself to. Not when he knew that she would disappear the moment his eyes opened and reality set back in.

"Edward?"

He raised his head, eyes meeting hers.

"You can't live like this forever you know. I won't let you drown your life away in a bottle of piss."

"Why not!? YOU LEFT ME!" Edward sobbed, "I wasn't ready to go on without you, i'll never be ready!"

Her eyes softened, and she reached out, taking his hand into hers.

"Do right by me then."

And with that, he opened his eyes.

The sun was pouring in through his cabin, spilling onto the floor and illuminating all in sight.

He would never be the same. He would always be missing a piece of himself as long as she was gone, but now he knew that he couldn't stop living just because she did. Now, he had to live his life for the both of them.

And when he closed his eyes to see her face, he no longer conjured up the image of her weak, dying body, breathless on the prison floor.

No, he would always remember her the same. With her raven hair down, blowing in the wind as she stood on the deck of her ship, absorbing the sunset with her beauty.

That was the Mary he knew, the one he loved most.

And she would always be with him.


End file.
